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xfuckmepumpsx [userpic]

(no subject)

September 14th, 2010 (08:54 am)

You watched me fall apart
You let me fall apart right in front of your eyes.

and now that I'm broken, you've left me alone to pick up the pieces.
but I can't. I've been shattered, and I don't know how to fix me.

so for now, I'll sit here, and cry.

xfuckmepumpsx [userpic]

(no subject)

September 1st, 2010 (12:19 am)

Emotions have been running though me like crazy. Sometimes I just want to pack up this life and take it somewhere new. Just Jayden and I. New life, new identities, new adventures..a new beginning.

I want to see what life has to offer me, to offer my little prince. I feel stuck in this place forever. Inception. I feel like I'm going to wake up one day, and everything is gone. This was all a dream. I'm crazy, I already know.

I need a friend. I need to get out of this house. I'd love a best friend. Someone who just gets it. Gets me.

If you're out there, sing along with me. If you're out there, I'm dying to believe that you're out there. Stand up and say it loud, if you out there. Tomorrow's starting now.-J.Legend*

Oh...

I've gotten myself into a dirty mess to & I love it.

I told you, I was trouble. You know that I'm no good.*


Fierce&Love

xfuckmepumpsx [userpic]

PLEASE VOTE!!! AND REPOST ANYWHERE YOU CAN!! I WILL LOVE YOU!

June 15th, 2010 (08:41 pm)

http://www.greatamericanphotocontest.com/voter1/index5.aspx?p=2382564&x=.bmp&referid=FB


THANK YOU SO SO MUCH. I COULD REALLY USE THIS MONEY.

xfuckmepumpsx [userpic]

(no subject)

June 7th, 2010 (10:23 pm)

YOU ARE NEVER ALONE
YOU ARE NEVER ALONE
YOU ARE NEVER ALONE

I can say it a million times. Finally believing it. FINALLY.

I have met an amazing person. Someone who deserves the world & so much more. Until then, I'll show her as much as I can how beautiful and caring she is.

When you are about to fall.crash.burn. Just remember, someone is out there to catch you. I'm glad I was caught in time.

God has shown me once again that maybe, just maybe, Im not worthless. I know that little boy sleeping in our room is the world to me, and hopefully he feels the same

taking life day by day. never looking back. step by step.

xo

fierce & love.

ps- still on the hunt for a piano/ keyboard <3

xfuckmepumpsx [userpic]

(no subject)

June 6th, 2010 (03:08 pm)

Slowly slipping back into my depression.....


S L O W L Y ......

I've decided I want to learn to play piano. Have some sort of goal in my life. I'm on the hunt for a keyboard. This could be the key to my heart. learn to play my feelings instead of talking about them. learn to make the world a beautifuk oplace with music. learn to love.

this probably makes sense to none of you. it means the world to me.

xfuckmepumpsx [userpic]

something to take my mind off things.

March 7th, 2010 (06:05 pm)

So, I am putting to gether a collage of things for the baby. Sketches, pictures, etc. I want to start collecting things, and frame the collage in a large frame to hang on the wall. You all should contribute to it! A drawing, picture, anything! Message me if you want to make something!! I would reallllly appreciate it!! <3

xo.

xfuckmepumpsx [userpic]

alone.

March 4th, 2010 (10:18 pm)

DREAM

I wake up (in the dream) and my whole life was a dream. It's far into the future, and I haven't made anything of my life. Everything is gone. I never had Jayden. I am nothing. I missed out of life, and all I have is myself, and I am a mess.

My brain is going crazy. Maybe its me, maybe I am going crazy. I can't help but hate this dream. It stays with me all day, and that is all I can think of. I can't deal with this anymore. I don't understand what is wrong with me.

off to dreamland yet again.

xfuckmepumpsx [userpic]

upset.

February 8th, 2010 (08:08 pm)

I was just denied for an EBT card.

no job. no money. and now, no food money. JUST GREAT.

as if I couldn't be upset enough.

xfuckmepumpsx [userpic]

(no subject)

February 8th, 2010 (08:06 pm)

Getting ready for my little man is so exciting. yet at the time time so stressful.

all I've been doing is crying. I lost my job and I can barely afford anything for him. I havent found a stroller yet and its been driving me crazy. Its silly of me to want all these things too, like those cute baby slings. I need to buy necessities first. Still looking for a nice dark crib to match my bed. Still looking for clothes. Still looking for money to afford them. No one wants to hire a pregnant girl, especially in this economy. I just wish I had some friends down here, or I was having a baby shower. I know it is so wrong, but I'm praying someone send me a giftcard or something at least to help me out.

The one thing I will never regret is my son though <3 and he doesn't need a father who is a deadbeat. I will give him all the love he needs. Yes, money may be short, but I've literally been trying to sell all my things to afford stuff for him. Its so worth it.

xfuckmepumpsx [userpic]

(no subject)

January 24th, 2010 (11:21 pm)

Even since I moved away from New York, all of my "friends" have had something to say about me being pregnant. Not to my face either. It hurts.

They also have apparently forgotten about me. I don't get phone calls. or calls back when I call. I'm sick and tired of feeling alone all the time

I'm sick of having to call people and getting voicemail.

I'm done. done with everyone.

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